Could use another opinion <Car damaged>

[Jim Robeson]

Saturday evening, while coming out of Sam's Club, I witnessed a young teenage boy key my wife's car. He was in front of us, just far enough that I wasn't sure what he had done until I reached our car. He had keyed the painted pumper from driver side to the passenger side then keyed the passenger rear quarter panel from the tail light to the back door. I confronted him as soon as I tracked him down only to realize that he was maybe 12 to 13 at the most. Needless to say I was so mad, it took a lot for me not to knock a knot on his head. His mother was behind us and did not see what happened, just saw me chewing her son out. She immediately asked what happened and I told her that her son had just keyed our car. Without hesitation she said she would take care of it and make it "right". I have a feeling that this isn't the first time for this to have happened. In an email to my wife, the lady apologized and explained that her son suffers from Autism and thought he was getting better.

I have had several people say they think I should file a police report so that the boy will learn a lesson. I have no plans, at this time, to do that. I have no idea what it's like to be in this ladies shoes and can only imagine at what she has to go through on a daily basis. As long as she makes it "right" I have other plans to do anything different unless someone really feels that I'm making a big mistake.

Thanks for your input.

Jim

 

[Glassman]

What car?

 

[Jim Robeson]

@Glassman ... 2012 Lexus RX350 ... why?

 

[brockhals]

If it were me, I wouldn't file a report as long as it's taken care of. Kids do stupid things and I don't think they should be haunted forever. I know I did a lot of stupid things as a kid (nothing like this, but...). If she is taking care of it, I'd let it be.

 

[BoaterGuy]

If it were me, I wouldn't file a report as long as it's taken care of. Kids do stupid things and I don't think they should be haunted forever. I know I did a lot of stupid things as a kid (nothing like this, but...). If she is taking care of it, I'd let it be.

+1

 

[Zarrella]

No harm in filing the report. It gives you some ground to stand on in case she changes her mind. It only takes one person to tell her how do you know he did it, and now she starts thinking maybe he didnt and you are trying to take advaantage of her. Or, you get an estimate and reality sets in for her and she starts questioning why she should pay this. I say file it and if you dont need it....no harm done.

 

[Glassman]

@Glassman ... 2012 Lexus RX350 ... why?

Oh, that's a shame. I hope they make it right.

Why? Well, I guess I'm a car guy....if it was a classic with original paint I'd probably be typing this from prison. But as others have said, I'd get the parents insurance info and let them sort it out. That's why we have insurance right?

My kids were perfect growing up so I have very little experience with things of this nature. I do, however, have grandchildren who, with a little practice, might end up on America's Most Wanted. I'll deny knowing them of course. Especially the 8 year-old with neck tattoos. He bugs me.

 

[Jim Robeson]

I'm not worried about her saying they didn't do it. I called Sam's and they have the incident on digital video and have made me a recording of it in case I need it. They will only turn it over to the police if I decide to file a report.

Yep, did my fair share of stupid things growing up and I guess that's why I'm not going to be to quick here. And she did reach out to us when she made it back home.

 

[Wayloncle]

Personally I wouldn't get a police report and scare them with it, maybe get one just to prove that it happened, then if they don't "make it right" ask them for their insurance info and what not. Depending on the boy's level of Autisim, using a police report to teach him a lesson isn't going to do anything but cause the parents more grief.

 

[jdiaz78]

As a police officer, you only file a report if you plan on pressing charges. We don't like to be used as muscle to make sure something is handled civilly. So that being said, if you have already worked it out, leave it be. All states have a statute of limitations and for a crime like this in KS, it is a year to file a report. So you still have time if something doesn't go right.

 

[Julian]

If she's being upfront about it, then let it be. As jdiaz says, you can always file later if things go south.

 

[Jim Robeson]

@jdiaz78 ... Thanks for the info and for what you do for us on a daily basis. It strange the emotions you go through in just a short time. I went from full blown pissed off to where I am now...which is feeling sorry for this woman and what she is having to deal with. Thanks for all the feedback.

 

[Lspeedss]

@Jim Robeson Sounds like you are handling it like I would. The fact that she was apologetic, followed up and you feel she was sincere.. it is the way to handle it. He is a kid.. I commend you for not totally loosing it..I take damage to my personal property very seriously. I could only hope I could keep it together as well as you did. You can always file later if she turns. Her email sounds like irrefutable evidence if it comes to that. Good luck and get your repair quotes soon.

 

[Dwane]

My wife would be the one to do the police report and hold the grudge for 10 years lol!, Me personally, i'd probably let it go... I used to be the type to act first and think "regret" later, The kid should learn a lesson from it though, maybe work out a deal with the mother and have the kid do some Mr. Miyagi style polishing on it for a few hours. "never know! the scratch might buff out or become less visible" Either he'll think twice about doing again, or he'll just be more cautious next time... probably the later... Either way, getting something trashed that you pay thousands of dollars for sucks "especially when its not you that done the trashing!!" I hope it works out better for you!! Good luck man!!

 

[BigN8]

Thinking you are doing the right thing......That being said, had he keyed my pretty red SX 240, the kid may have lost his f'ing fingers!

 

[Lawson2479]

I'm glad you are giving them the chance to make it right. At the same time the mother can not use the boys autism as an excuse for that type of behavior. My 9 year old has autism and Tourette's and I quite understand behavioral issues but this is destruction of someone else's property and she needs to help him or this will escalate. We all did things when we were kids but we were reigned in by our parents, not have excuses made. My father would have expected you to thump my head and he still would have fixed the car. But that was a different time. When we were all accountable for our actions. You are a good guy. I hope this turns out alright. Sorry about the soap box. But like I have explained to my kids "we teach a dog to not pee on the floor and they have the brain the size of walnuts". "All of you are smarter than dogs".

 

[Ronnie]

If things are being addressed in ways satisfactory to you don't bother with the report but keep the video and all written correspondence just in case things change. If things are not fully resolved (claim approved and damaged fixed) in the next month or so you may want to consider dusting the evidence and supporting docs off.

On a side note , a friend of mine caught one of 4 kids stealing stuff out of his SUV a few years ago. He held him there until the cops showed up. Unfortunately, the kids dad was an assistant da in the city the incident occurred in, the short story is daddy not only defended his kid (saying his son was in the area not a participant) but pressed charges against my friend and eventually got a retraining/stay away order between his son and my friend, which could have a been a problem because the kid went to school across the street from where my friend worked. I thought that was a perfect example of bad parenting. It's good that your perpetrators mother seems to be the exact opposite of what my friend had to deal with.

 

[Jim Robeson]

Thanks for the input everyone. I am keeping my fingers crossed that we can keep this simple. Already have one quote from the local Lexus dealer...$1572.00!! That was a little more than I saw coming.

Thanks again for the second opinions.

 

[Boat Crazy]

Wow! I would take pictures in case she has a change of heart when she see's the bill.

 

[itsdgm]

@Jim Robeson sounds like you've thought it out pretty well already. It's easy to give advice one way or another on this. But honestly you were there, confronted the child and met the mother. People who assume that they know what it's like to be a parent of anybody else's child clearly have no idea what autism is all about. As a father of an autistic kid myself I am so very fortunate that the kind nature of our child is much different than some of the other kids with a similar diagnosis. No two kids are alike and the hardest part of finding the correct treatment for anybody with the diagnosis of autism is that it's a spectrum. Each kid is affected in a different way which requires a different treatment plan.

Trust me, if I found a kid destroying my property, I can only hope that I would've handled it as well as you did.

It sounds like the mother was owning up to the damage. I'm just glad that you actually are concerned about her feelings and what it must be like to have to raise that kid. It just shows how much of a stand up guy you really are.