He's Selling His Man-Card!!

[Glassman]

My son in law is looking for a new wakeboard boat...couldn't take him into the Yammie even though the kids would love one.
So I and all our friends have been keeping an eye out for a new boat for them.

We found this one, hope it's still available:

http://sanantonio.craigslist.org/boa/5070583669.html

I just had to copy the text for prosperity - these go away too quickly...

My wife and kids have sucked the life out of me and I am a defeated human. A couple years ago I bought this awesome 2012 MB Sports B52 23' Team Widebody for me and my family to enjoy. I thought it would cost me an arm and leg in fuel to keep this thing running but alas I've made no 7-11 owners rich. As soon as I mention any body of water, the passive resistance begins: "I have a headache" (multipurpose excuse), "the lawn looks like it needs some work", "I think the HEB has a special on beets, today only!", "the water is too warm", "the water is too cold", "the water is too high", "the water is too low", "I have a bracket loose in my braces, I'd rather go to the orthodontist", "it's a weekend and will be too busy" -- you get the point.

My daughter mopes in the bow texting her friends the entire time.
My son stares off into nothingness in some catatonic haze thinking about his next video game frag.
My wife can neither back up the trailer with the truck nor put the boat on the trailer. She is particularly talented at finding the choppiest water and making ridiculous decisions that make it impossible to enjoy my time behind the boat. This does not stop her from offering her "input" (bitching) when I am driving the boat.

If you're a real man, you should buy this boat, and if you're a good human you should buy it so I can spend the $45k on some therapy (girlfriend). 1st off it is one of the best looking boats on the water, and for this price you'll find nothing like it. I will include a free stick to help you swat away all the women who will most certainly be attracted to you once you start hitting the lake. The interior is huge and you can legally pack this thing with 12 bikini clad babes.

If you prefer sporting to women I'm in no position to call you out. The boat has 300+ HP, holds 2400# of ballast stock, and will pull any rider out of the water with zero effort. High strength tower was installed by the factory but the boat also has a retractable ski pylon for those who are so inclined. Includes GPS controlled perfect pass so all those bimbos you pick up won't eff up the speed while you're carving behind the boat. I've bought this boat directly from Texas Mastercraft in 2012 and it has been stored in my garage almost the entire time (since we prefer the dentist over the lake apparently). You can see a video of this particular model here:

-- not my specific boat but the exact same model.

Although my family has made me me their bitch, I won't be yours. The boat is paid for and I won't entertain low-ball offers, I'll let it rot before I give it away. Also, includes twin axle trailer, the truck is NOT included nor is the spoiled video gaming machine standing next to the boat.

 

[McMark]

Lol

 

[OperationROL]

That's awesome! I want to buy it just because he is so funny! I love MB's and if I was going to leave Yamaha for a purpose built boat, it would be an MB. I hope he gets it!

 

[Julian]

Funny! I sometimes get the excuse list....so now I have Thursday night boating set up with my team from work!

 

[ToddW850]

HAHA!!! That was great!

 

[Zeus2013]

That is one deflated man. I feel sorry for him. Sounds like he really needs a fun loving young 20 something girlfriend.

 

[haknslash]

I think I just busted some of my stitches in my stomach!

 

[Geiger41]

We gotta call this guy and recruit him !!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[itsdgm]

Funny, but sad, yet still funny

 

[DonWon]

Oh that poor SOB! I feel bad for the dude. I hope he finds comfort with his girlfriend.

 

[Glassman]

That is one deflated man. I feel sorry for him. Sounds like he really needs a fun loving young 20 something girlfriend.

I was thinking that if he doesn't already have one, he's going to have plenty of time to find one if his wife reads that listing!!

 

[treeskier]

FYI listing is now deleted by the author. LOL

I had similar issues with the ski house in Utah and to a lesser extent the boat. As for the ski house I just said fine and went by myself...a lot. The boat is a little more puzzling since we live on the water and all we need to do in walk out back and jump on and I do all of the after boating clean up (which I like to do). I have started to go out on the boat by myself and practice my docking or invite friends since I started that the appetite for the boat from others has increased a bit but I still the get it's too cold, too windy...etc.

 

[Wayloncle]

I will have to remember the "wife offering her "input"". Good way to put it, I used to say "you don't have to yell at me" then she would say "I'M NOT YELLING". I figured that was a nicer way of saying bitching.

 

[txav8r]

I actually think the guy must be in sales and marketing...he just wrote the perfect add and sold his boat promptly!

 

[buckbuck]

Classic!

 

[FSH 210 Sport]

Stumbled across this old post this morning, and I had just read @drewkaree wish for sequel to a post I made about the dumbass pointing a flare gun at a cop during a field sobriety test, here’s a sequel of a different kind.

The add was entertaining, sad and nauseating at the same time. The title of the thread was apropos.

One time I was in a restaurant enjoying a meal and my latest edition of Dirt Bike magazine, probably reading a funny editorial by Tom Webb. At the table right next to me was this group of people, several men and women, they were having a spirited conversation about “Steve”, not just Steve, but poor Steve. This conversation had been going on for a good long time before I became aware of the content and the woe is Steve topic. Apparently Steve had a very mean wife or girlfriend and as time went on I heard many examples of what a king kamama maya beeotch this woman is and how poor Steve was indeed living a life of hell on earth. As I looked over at one point one of the guys was looking back at me and I said to him, don’t feel sorry for Steve……this stopped the ongoing yammering about Steve by the others, one of the women said in a very sardonic tone, Ohhhh really? Why is that? I said, I couldn’t help but overhear the ongoing tales of woe about poor Steve over the last half hour, I‘m sitting right here so its not like a I had a choice in the matter, I said its obvious to me that Steve is exactly where Steve wants to be or Steve would leave, further if Steve really wanted out of that situation he would call you guys, his faithful friends, and I’m sure that you all would help him get moved out and gone when miss meany pants was out of town on one of her many sojourns with the “girls” where she would spend all of Steve’s money, and Ray Charles could see she was out banging some other guy or guys. The guy who had looked at me originally pointed at me and said to the group, “this guy is right”, I said of course I am. So if you really want to help ”poor Steve” help him man up, tell him that you are going to come over and move him out the next time King Kamaya Maya bitch is gone and perhaps he would be able to put the corners back on his man card, all the men at the table laughed at the man card bit. I said otherwise you are just making sure that Steve stays in his misery, so be the good friends that I know you are and get Steve out of that situation, if Steve refuses to take action and get the heck out of there, then cut him off on this subject matter otherwise you are just enabling him and he is using you like an emotional sponge.

The one guy was all smiles, sardonic chick was just glaring at me, and there was no more discussion of ”Poor Steve”. I never saw those people again and have no idea about whatever happened to “poor Steve”.

Life is too short to be involved with people that do not have your best interest in mind and their heart of hearts.

 

[drewkaree]

The one guy was all smiles, sardonic chick was just glaring at me, and there was no more discussion of ”Poor Steve”.

Makes you wonder if she was the lookout for Poor Steve's traveling saleswoman of a girlfriend

 

[FSH 210 Sport]

Makes you wonder if she was the lookout for Poor Steve's traveling saleswoman of a girlfriend

You know, I hadn‘t thought of that…. Life is stranger than fiction sometimes…and people can be so scandalous.