Picking a college for my daughter....HELP.

[Freezer41]

To me this is the key "throwing her into "the experience" might not be the right thing either." I moved out of state for college right out of high school. "The experience" was not worth it and I ended up getting horrible grades, not going to class because no one was there to tell me I had to. In 2 years I had wasted a ton of money and changed my mind about what I wanted to do for a career. I never had to work in high school either. I fear your daughter may not be ready for big time university.

 

[waterboy]

A lot of good comments by everyone. I have 2 girls in college now. My conversation with them was I have only "in-state" money to offer. The rest you have to come up with in grants and scholarships, etc. I will not let them get buried to their eyeballs in student loans so 4 years of loans to an out of state was not an option.

My oldest got accepted to Univ of Michigan... great school but $52K or something a year. With the discussion I had with them above, I was not the bad guy. She did not put in the effort for scholarships, etc so she knew that she could not afford it. It became her decision not mine to not go. I got off being the bad guy.

It's really OK though when her backup school was Univ of North Carolina Chapel Hill. She really won in the end and just didn't realize it at the time.

As I said, I am doubled up now with college tuition. Have both at UNC Chapel Hill. So don;t mind me when I brag about my daughters. They have done a hell of a job...

Good luck. It is stressful but fun watching them grow up through this new phase.

 

[BoaterGuy]

My 2 cents....

I dont have kids, but I can attest to motivation in community college vs. university. My college was paid for by my father and I got shit grades in high school. Very distracted by girlfriends and other friends. I always worked which I think is important. I spent 3.5 years in community college and I was lucky enough to start dating a responsible girl who went to University of Maryland.

Community college was just like another high school, it was filled with the have-nots who just went there because "it was the right thing to do." Not one person in that place (and I went to 2 different campuses across those 3.5 years) was motivated or cared enough about me to convince me to go further.

It was the girl at UMD that exposed me to life on the other side. I have her to thank for furthering my education. While dating her I got my shit together and was able to transfer to a 4 year school. Where I met my roommate who got me my current job where I have been now for 10 years.

It took me 6.5 years to get my degree (I also double majored) but completing it has given me the confidence to know that I can do anything I put my mind to. I even went on later to get my MBA from Loyola.

The moral of my story is, while community college may be financially smart; It is a hole that is difficult to get out of. It doesnt promote you to go on to do better things and does not surround you with motivated people.

Check out the transfer out rate from my CC:
http://www.usnews.com/education/community-colleges/montgomery-college-CC05530

23% transfer out
17% graduation!!

From what I understand these community colleges are supposed to be among the best, especially since MD has some of the best schools in the country. (From what I've read/heard)

I would look at the graduation/transfer rates for your local CC's. If she went to mine she would have 77% chance of staying there and an 83% of dropping out! (17% graduation rate)


Edit... this says Florida Gulf Coast State has a graduation rate of 22%:

http://colleges.usnews.rankingsandreviews.com/best-colleges/fgcu-32553

 

[Ronnie]

I have coworkers whose kids will start college next year so they have been to all the campus orientations. One came back with a cost slide from UCLA. As I recall the fully burdened cost (tuition, room and board) for a residents was $29.5k for those that lived off campus and $30.5k for those that lived in the dorms. Some colleges require freshman to stay in the dorms. All this to say that if there are any good 4 year schools next to you, you could save thousands on rent and other living expenses and may have a better opportunity to tansfer to another school once the base courses are completed. Just treat it like a high end community college.

 

[Big Shasta]

My 2 cents....

I dont have kids, but I can attest to motivation in community college vs. university. My college was paid for by my father and I got shit grades in high school. Very distracted by girlfriends and other friends. I always worked which I think is important. I spent 3.5 years in community college and I was lucky enough to start dating a responsible girl who went to University of Maryland.

Community college was just like another high school, it was filled with the have-nots who just went there because "it was the right thing to do." Not one person in that place (and I went to 2 different campuses across those 3.5 years) was motivated or cared enough about me to convince me to go further.

It was the girl at UMD that exposed me to life on the other side. I have her to thank for furthering my education. While dating her I got my shit together and was able to transfer to a 4 year school. Where I met my roommate who got me my current job where I have been now for 10 years.

It took me 6.5 years to get my degree (I also double majored) but completing it has given me the confidence to know that I can do anything I put my mind to. I even went on later to get my MBA from Loyola.

The moral of my story is, while community college may be financially smart; It is a hole that is difficult to get out of. It doesnt promote you to go on to do better things and does not surround you with motivated people.

Check out the transfer out rate from my CC:
http://www.usnews.com/education/community-colleges/montgomery-college-CC05530

23% transfer out
17% graduation!!

From what I understand these community colleges are supposed to be among the best, especially since MD has some of the best schools in the country. (From what I've read/heard)

I would look at the graduation/transfer rates for your local CC's. If she went to mine she would have 77% chance of staying there and an 83% of dropping out! (17% graduation rate)


Edit... this says Florida Gulf Coast State has a graduation rate of 22%:

http://colleges.usnews.rankingsandreviews.com/best-colleges/fgcu-32553

Wrong school. Gulf Coast College in Panama City had a 52% graduation rate in 2012 (the only data I could quickly find) and I didn't see their transfer rate.

 

[PolarXJ]

Unfortunately grad rates from CC style schools are not usually a good indicator. At least not in my state. The stats include all students enrolled, so it includes students that are only getting a certification, one year certificate programs, taking refresher courses, or just taking one class for a job requirement. Those programs don't count as graduating students in the stats so it really brings the numbers down dramatically.

 

[BoaterGuy]

I just came across the statistics for the first time today, so I appreciate your offset to put things into perspective.

Good luck @Big Shasta with whatever decision you make!

 

[Big Shasta]

Unfortunately grad rates from CC style schools are not usually a good indicator. At least not in my state. The stats include all students enrolled, so it includes students that are only getting a certification, one year certificate programs, taking refresher courses, or just taking one class for a job requirement. Those programs don't count as graduating students in the stats so it really brings the numbers down dramatically.

Completely agree. This is a school with a lot of people just taking a couple classes in a specific area. I though 52% was awesome for a graduation rate. Having gone there myself for some classes, it really is a good school that encourages you to get core classes and move on if that's what you want. They used to use the tagline "start here, go anywhere" but now that they are a state college and not just a community college, they try and focus on their degree paths.

It's certainly not an easy decision. but I can't see burdening me and my wife or my daughter with excess debt for no real gain.

 

[Glassman]

Having put a few through college, I can tell you one thing for sure.

College Sucks.....


...all the money out of your wallet!

And all you can do is hope and pray they get it. Some do some don't.

I literally just got back from watching my daughter give a presentation on behalf of her college at some 86th annual convention of super smart people who write stuff I can't pronounce. She's wrapping up her Master's right now - is also a Teaching Assistant (that means they pay her to go to school yay! finally) - this is a girl I thought was going to be a hairstylist or make-up artist or something like that!
Three months before high school graduation she says, "Dad (she calls me Dad) I think I want to go to college. After I got up off the floor I asked her if she had a school or even a major in mind.

She didn't.

So the mad dash was on. We sent applications - at something like $45 a pop out to a bunch of schools, including one a "friend" went to (so it must be good...). She was accepted to a bunch of them so she went to the one her friend went to.

Now I'm pressing her to continue and get her PhD. (it's the new Masters I'm told), besides. I always wanted a doctor in the family!

Our oldest got a scholastic scholarship to University of Denver, graduated Magna Cum Laude and unless he screws things up on purpose, is set...for life. He landed a terrific job right out of school.

Our youngest got an athletic scholarship to a Div. I school and studied Engineering and effed that up all to hell. Go figure.

Now she's going to take a stab at becoming a Firefighter. Yeah, you heard that right.
She dropped out of the University, came home - I put her through the EMT course at UCLA and she passed with flying colors, just got her National EMT Certification and is waiting for her DOJ and FBI background check to complete so she can apply to the Academy. Fortunately the stint as an athlete bulked her up and she's got a good chance of passing the physical requirements - it's the mental stuff she'll go through that I'm worried about.

So, my advice to you is...do what your heart tells you. You know your kid better than anyone.

I wish I hadn't let her accept the athletic scholarship and go out of state - it wasn't right for HER. Some kids can pull it off. Some can't.

Sending a California girl to the frozen tundra of North Illinois is a bad idea in general and trying to "drop by" for a visit every now and again gets expensive. She needs a short leash and sound advice too often.

On the other hand, the other kids are more self reliant and are self starters.

At least as an EMT (Paramedic hopefully one day) she'll be able to change her parents diapers when the time comes.

 

[Big Shasta]

Well, I gave up the fight. There was no compromise in their mind. It was either succumb to 100K+ of college costs or get divorced.

Look for a polished up 2005 AR230 for sale in Late July. We already have a lakehouse rented for 4th of July week or it would be for sale now.

 

[Wayloncle]

Well, I gave up the fight. There was no compromise in their mind. It was either succumb to 100K+ of college costs or get divorced.

Look for a polished up 2005 AR230 for sale in Late July. We already have a lakehouse rented for 4th of July week or it would be for sale now.

You'd still be paying for it if you got divorced;-)

 

[Big Shasta]

You'd still be paying for it if you got divorced;-)

Good Point.

Boat and Tundra will be for sale...Package deal.

Dignity and my sense of self worth included free

 

[MikeyL]

@Big Shasta ............. Good thread. Ours is now 39, and I am through "paying." But I feel your pain.
I have two thoughts, in case you might be interested ...........
A) USA is a GREAT school, and in a wonderful part of the country.
B) Buy a LOT more "CROWN." ..... A LOT more. You're gonna need it.
Many Blessed WIshes your way, and enjoy the hangover ....... Which by the way, does NOT go away when they turn 23 or 24 yrs of age. LOL
Mikey Lulejian - With Miss Barbie on Lake Oconee, enjoying the "single life" once again ........ LOL !

 

[Big Shasta]

@Big Shasta ............. Good thread. Ours is now 39, and I am through "paying." But I feel your pain.
I have two thoughts, in case you might be interested ...........
A) USA is a GREAT school, and in a wonderful part of the country.
B) Buy a LOT more "CROWN." ..... A LOT more. You're gonna need it.
Many Blessed WIshes your way, and enjoy the hangover ....... Which by the way, does NOT go away when they turn 23 or 24 yrs of age. LOL
Mikey Lulejian - With Miss Barbie on Lake Oconee, enjoying the "single life" once again ........ LOL !

LOL...Thanks Mikey. I do love Crown Royal but I'm gonna have to switch to Canadian Club....it's half the price.

 

[MikeyL]

@Big Shasta .......... I have a question. A serious one. It';s raining here, and I can't work on Miss B'Haven, so you're stuck with me.

In your original post, you wrote this ...... and I quote .........
"... at this point, I don't care what happens....I'm not wasting 42 THOUSAND DOLLARS.....UGH.
Guess I'm not getting laid tonight. Oh well....Getting drunk might help."

My question is this, and remember I am older than you, so go easy ......
What does the $42 grand have to do with getting laid ?
Curious minds wanna know. I feel sure many of us are gonna learn something from this.
I am SO GLAD I am not asking @Glassman this same question ......... LOL !

 

[Big Shasta]

@Big Shasta .......... I have a question. A serious one. It';s raining here, and I can't work on Miss B'Haven, so you're stuck with me.

In your original post, you wrote this ...... and I quote .........
"... at this point, I don't care what happens....I'm not wasting 42 THOUSAND DOLLARS.....UGH.
Guess I'm not getting laid tonight. Oh well....Getting drunk might help."

My question is this, and remember I am older than you, so go easy ......
What does the $42 grand have to do with getting laid ?
Curious minds wanna know. I feel sure many of us are gonna learn something from this.
I am SO GLAD I am not asking @Glassman this same question ......... LOL !

LOL...Oh Mikey, Only you would ask this.

The fight to not spend the extra money for her to go away to school definitely took my wife "out of the mood" I don't remember which night that was exactly but I can guarantee I didn't get any action that night.

 

[smthng]

I have no advice on college or education in general. I screwed up a full scholarship because I'm not the college type. But, I have a couple of sister in laws who are in Radiology and they say it's a good place to be. They will hire any idiot with any kind of Radiology experience or training. The entire sector of the industry is understaffed and pays very well to keep people. Most people with a brain can pretty much expect to get a good salary and within a year or two of working can transfer just about anywhere in the country and work normal hours. Good choice, IMO.

 

[Julian]

My brother, SIL and nephew just stopped by on their way for a college tour. He's a bit of a prodigy.....and went to visit: Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Columbia, Duke, Upenn and Brown. He wants to go to Harvard....and if he gets in will have a free ride! Harvard pays for tuition, room and board for students in families that make <$60K (since my brother is self employed he can control how much he makes). Yale and Princeton are the same. Now he just has to see if he can get in....he's a National level swimmer, A+ student (taking crazy classes like AP chinese, AP Calc etc), artist and pianist....

I can only hope our daughter is as gifted....and the only way she'd get a free ride is if I become unemployed!!!!!!

Good luck @Big Shasta ....hope you don't have to sell the boat....that would SUCK!!!!

 

[christopherglenn]

Have her start at the local JC, and get an AA degree, make sure ALL the classes transfer credits. Then she can cut 2 years off the expensive school by transferring in as a JR.

 

[4x15mph]

@Big Shasta , I hear you on the college thing. I have my first son starting this next year for what would be a new 240 every year... College costs are ridiculous and similar to the housing bubble. It will correct shortly